Monday, May 10, 2010

Monday Mumbles

It's Monday, which means it's that time again....time to mumble! lol  Yes.  I enjoy sorting through my thoughts as I start another week.  I'm participating in what Circling the Square Table has begun.  Here are my 10 random thoughts for today (or perhaps, this moment).

1. Making bread is a job in and of itself.  For a few months now we've been making our bread instead of purchasing it.  For a couple reasons: 1. Homemade bread is sooooo very good; the smell is wonderful wafting through the house. 2. I can control what goes into the bread. 3. My children get to participate. 4. For the kind of bread we enjoy, it helps cut costs.  For at least a month and a half I had the help of a bread machine.  But we're back to using our hands--like every other day.  So either I've got to make more bread each time or we need to cut back on the amount of bread we're eating.

2. I am surrounding by boxes. Many of them are full.  Several are awaiting tape and items to fill them.  Packing is officially underway.  I started this weekend realizing that if I didn't start now I'd have to do a repeat of two years ago (packing the entire house in 7 days).  I cannot bear for that to happen.  In the back of my mind, though, I have to fight against it--since I know I can do it in 7 days.  That's the procrastination in me or perhaps it's the "I-really-don't-want-to-pack"in me. lol

3.  My children have really learned to love books and reading!  I am so happy as this is something that I've been wanting--working towards.  BUT it's really becoming more difficult to slow things down a bit now that other things (like packing) are taking priority.  We spent a morning at the library last week reading.  Normally the time we spend is in finding books (25-40 each time) to check out and read at home.  Since I'm determined not to pack any library books this move (we moved with a few, on accident) I really didn't want to check any out.  Of course they were able to persuade my by using the "but Mommy, you want us to read!" "We promise we will keep them in our library bags." etc., etc.  So I allowed them.  I think we checked out 12.  SMH. I guess I shouldn't be upset by this, huh?

4. We are awaiting our caterpillars' change into butterflies.  All five of them are now in their chrysalises and have been for about 4 days.  We check each morning when we get up.  It's been so interesting to learn about them and see them up close. 

5. What's with all the fussing siblings do? I'm a sibling and I know my brothers and I drove my mother senseless!  I can usually tolerate a lot--mainly because I'm good at tuning things/people out.  Ideally, I want them to learn to work things out on their own.  This takes practice and actually being allowed to work things out.  But they've been at it--intensely--for the past few days.  I am amazed at just how much energy they put into it.  When separated they only want to get back together.  SMH. Siblings.

6. I' have been putting in the works getting together with the people who have made life here bearable.  No, I guess I shouldn't say it like that.  My time here has been good, for the most part.  I'm thankful for the people who have enhanced it--made it more enjoyable.  In planning I'm seeing that I've made many more friends here than I normally keep at the forefront of my mind.  The calendar is filling up with family get to gathers and girls' days/nights out.  I'm looking forward to good company!!

7.  The dilemma of 'what's for breakfast' is again upon me.  Why is it so hard on Monday mornings?  Honestly, I'd rather someone else come and perform this duty each morning.  Then I could simply get up and start on what's on my mind to do.  The children are getting older and perhaps we'll institute them getting breakfast started once we've moved into our new space.  Yeah, I'm thinking it's time for that.

8. My daddy sent me the nicest mother's day card!  I really enjoy getting cards from him for they reafirm things I know but don't always know--from him.  I looked through some photos albums yesterday before packing them away of him and my children.  There is a joy that I see in his eyes when he's interacting with them.  It's the same joy that is in his eyes in the photos when I was a little one.  I like seeing that.

9. I still have the stack of fabric sitting on my table right next to me.  I'm telling myself that once I complete this room (well, most of it) I'm going to reward myself my whipping up these reusable bags.  I also really need to make pretty girl this dress as if I don't we'll miss the whole season for it--plus I got just enough fabric.  Ugh! 

10. I've had several great conversations with folk over the past three days that have really confirmed that where I am is where I'm supposed to be.  Really.  I'm definitely feeling more like me.  Ready to fully step into who I'm created to be without apology.  (I think I'll write about this more at another time.)  I will say that there has been a part of me that usually seeks to remain understated, reserved, less than so as not to offend, make others feel uncomfortable or less than.  I am blessed and am strong in many areas.  One person pointed out that there is an intimidation that others may feel from being around me.  It's not my intent, mind you, but seems to be there nonetheless.  I've heard this before and have made adjustments in myself.  But I'm seeing that this has less to do with me and more to do with them.  Suffice to say, I am going to let go of carrying what someone else thinks of/feels about me around.  I can be aware of it but it will no longer govern my life (there is definitely a balance that must take place).  It's time for me to be who I'm supposed to be.  There are people out there who need me to be me fully!  If that makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you, too, should embrace who you are and live into that! 
As my aunt says, "Be you, everyone else is taken!"

OK. Off to do the breakfast thing with the kiddies.  Hope you each of have Marvelous Monday!!

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I enjoyed reading your mumbles... I identify with several, especially the last one. I'm working on being more authentically me! I love reading your thoughts!


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