Parenting On Purpose : A Reminder

Here's a simple reminder today:

This can be challenging, especially when you're right in the middle of things. You are their example. Calm yourself first then assist them. (Like they say on flights, "Put your own mask on first, then assist someone else.)

Be well.

Parenting On Purpose :: Challenge Follow-up

Last week I challenged you to saying some positive things about your children to another and allowing them to overhear you. I'm so curious to hear how things went for you. What sort of things did you talk about? How much of the conversation did you let them overhear? What things did you notice afterwards? How many days did you participate in this challenge?

Well, since last week, I have made it a point to speak to several friends over the phone. I did what I normally do by stepping out of earshot, behind a closed door, etc. only this time I spoke a little more quietly. It did take a few minutes before any of them noticed that I was on the phone, but once they did I said one of their names and went into sharing how they'd been doing over the passed few days. How proud I was about this and that; how I noticed that they were improving, getting along, helping out around the house without being asked, etc.

After each of the calls, they asked who I was talking to. They also asked if I was talking about them because they heard me say their names. I didn't answer their questions, as I normally don't, however, I could see their eyes were brighter and the overall tone around the house has become lighter.

Over the weekend I typed an email and left it up (I have little eyes that like to read over my shoulder now). I 'caught' my big girl reading it. When I said, "What are you doing?" She just smiled and walked away. Later that day she came around for hugs and cuddles--something she doesn't do with me very often (big girl and all). It was nice.

Another evening, I spoke to their father right after putting them to bed. I told him all about the great things they got into (learning activities, helping around the house, cooperating). The next morning everyone was in a great mood and we sailed through most all of the things we needed to with little to no issues.

I'm thankful I was right about just what a positive impact it could have on our lives. Now, I need to make this a regular practice. It's important that we remember that our children need to hear positive things about themselves. Not only from time to time but regularly. These things can be said directly to them, of course, but isn't it nice to overhear good things too?

I hope you'll take a moment now to share how things went in your home. I look forward to seeing how you incorporated it and the positive feelings your children relished in. It won't take but a moment (smile).

I'll continue this practice and looking for other ways to let me children know just how proud I am of each of them.

Be well.


P.S. Should this be your first time on the blog reading for Parenting On Purpose, hop right over the the initial challenge and join in. Each Tuesday I share a quote and ask a question. A simple yet powerful way to assist and remind ourselves just how important it is that we parent with purpose and intention. I hope you'll join me weekly.

Parenting On Purpose: A Quote, A Question & A Challenge

A Quote:

A Question:

So often when we get with our spouses or partners or friends or, well, another parent in our communities and networks, we are quick to share the negative perspective of our lives with our children. No matter how old our children are, if they're in ear-shot, they have heard our words. Our words matter. The venting that we need to do when we're frustrated and worn out not withstanding.

How might you affect your child in a positive way by letting her/him over hear you saying good things about her/him? (This is different from bragging or showing him/her off to others. This is genuine, affirmation-type praise and acknowledgement of behaviors, skills, and overall personality.)

A Challenge:

I would like to challenge each of you to intentionally saying ONLY positive things about your child to others for the next two days. Yes, these should be things that are true--things that are recent. Talk normally as you would and allow your child to over hear little bits of the conversation. Pay attention to how our child responds afterwards. Take note of how you feel--after saying these things. After these first two days, give yourself another two days. If you think you're up to it, continue for the rest of the week. I'll check back in with you to see how things went. 

I am taking on this challenge and will share with you how things went in my home with my children. My guess is that things will improve--I hope I'm right!

Be well.

Parenting On Purpose: A Quote & A Question

A Quote:

A Question:

With so much technology around us it's so easy to be to 'plugged-in' (distracted) that we could unintentionally go through our days in this way--children included. What specific things are you doing to be "all-in" (present) with your child today?

Parenting On Purpose: A Quote & A Question

We all want to do the best we can for and with our children. I'm again starting these simple posts to give you pause and enouragement each week as you seek to Parent on Purpose.

A quote:

A question:

How might you improve your child's behavior by improving your own?